Earth Angels

And the holy nature of friendship.

Over the past several weeks I’ve spent time in Chicago and New York with some of my oldest friends. As I soaked up their love, I was struck by the ways in which the special nature of friendship fosters a relationship with the divine.

Angels among us.

Over the course my life friends have brought comfort in ways only angels can. They’ve amplified my joy and brought me to tears with laughter. They’ve also deepened my empathy and reshaped my world view.

Friendships form when two people begin opening themselves up to one another. Really that’s the only way it works, at least for a long-term friend—you must be equally honest and vulnerable. This shared vulnerability is what strengthens your connection, and through it you build trust. At times, you also practice forgiveness.

Friendships are unique in many ways. They are the family you choose, or as author Armistead Maupin calls his friends, your “logical family.” I love thinking about my friends and the ways in which I’ve collected them—during grade school or high school; working at the same company, now years in the review mirror; friends of friends I claimed as my own after meeting at parties or on car rides or in so-and-so’s backyard.

When I think of my friends and the way we came to be, I envision a shimmering string tying us together. It glows because it feels celestial. Every relationship is downright magical, a wildly unexpected occurrence like lightning gracing the ground. We got to meet each other, right at this moment in our lives? And then just…stay connected forever? It’s kismet. And this is how I know God is involved.

To be truly seen.

While the crux of friendships is honesty, I think we are slightly different versions of ourselves in every relationship we hold. The unique ways in which we respond to one another aren’t phony; it’s about being hyper-aware of someone else’s state. A big part of being a friend is metaphorically meeting other people where they are. During long friendships it’s inevitable one person will need more from the other in certain moments. Deep friendships can weather this with ease, gently tipping the scales of affection as required until the storm passes and balance is restored.

Friendships also celebrate our innate gifts, which is another way the divine shines through. As the resident writer of my group I am often called upon for written assistance of all stripes, which I happily dole out. I’m fortunate to be friends with many physicians, and I am relentless in my quest for medical advice from each of them. Beyond professions, the beautiful individuality of each person gets a holy spotlight in a friendship. Maybe you have a friend whose comedic timing is impeccable, or one with a sixth sense who always calls just when you need a little boost. Perhaps you’ve got one who can hold a secret with unwavering fidelity; being able to share the weight of a burden with a friend like that is invaluable.

In friendship we expose endless facets of ourselves, many of them a bit weird or endearing. These connections allow us to experience all of humanity differently. Friends fine-tune our emotional intelligence.

Love that endures.

Long-standing friendships see us through every season. Bearing witness to years of joy and heartbreak creates a layered experience that becomes irreplaceable and sacred. I met my first best friend at five years old, and we both marvel at the length of our friendship. She has guided and encouraged me for decades. She is an angel in my life, in every sense. I cannot imagine who I would be without her influence.

When in Chicago recently, I was in a cozy familial bubble with two of my other oldest and closest friends. During a heartfelt talk, I mentioned how much I missed sending pictures of my son to my mom. Instantly they both insisted I send them more pictures, encouraging me to let them fill that hole in my heart. It was a touching gesture from two women I love so much—and makes me feel in divine connection with my other angel, my mom.

A couple weeks later during a whirlwind New York trip, I was able to spend a full day with another cherished childhood best friend. We “shopped and bopped” all day, my absolute favorite thing to do with my mom—bouncing around stores and traveling wherever the wind took us. It transported me to a youthful version of myself, one that was fresh-faced and carefree and thrilled for a day out. It also helped that this particular NY angel-friend had known and loved my mom, so her twinkling spirit accompanied us all day, particularly in the giggly moments.

The following day I met up with a gaggle of friends from my early San Francisco days, one of whom has been a bestie for nearly 20 years. We spent our time together soaking up art and music and dancing, things we have bonded over since our early adulthood.

Rare and lucky happenstance allowed me to be with all these dear friends in short succession, and I’m grateful for it. The years march on, and time creates space between us at an increasingly rapid clip. Yet being with each of them was effortless, invigorating, joyful, relaxing. How is that anything short of angelic?

Divine humanity.

As I’ve written about before, I continue to realize the ways in which the human experience plays a pivotal role in our relationship to God. Oftentimes we equate our humanity with commonness, as though it is lowly and far from divine. But I am certain that our complex human emotions exist to show us glimpses of concepts we cannot yet comprehend, like the depth of love. It’s an enormous part of what keeps me anchored to Christianity—the idea that a crucial component of God includes a human form. (If this is of interest to you, I recommend a recent sermon on the Trinity by The Very Rev. Malcolm Young.)

I believe part of God’s everlasting hope for humanity is for us to understand we are all divinely connected. We come from the same spirit source and co-exist on this glorious planet. Friends are one of the clearest ways in which we remember this sacred connection.

Friendships go through phases. It’s impossible to stay in constant contact, and there may be long seasons where close friends don’t speak. But the frequency of communication has nothing to do with the power of friendship. In fact, the opposite may be true.

Having someone who believes in you from afar, someone who has once seen you for your true self and loved you wholly because of it—that type of divine love is true friendship. And that energy coursing through the world, whether it’s spoken or not, is powerful.

There is an element of friendship that brushes upon mysticism. Being deeply connected with a friend is like plugging into something soulful. Many years ago one of my closest friends was unable to be at our wedding due to a family emergency, and seven years later I missed her and her husband’s wedding for a similar circumstance. We are both still in disbelief over this. But in some ways, we were present for one another on these days. The support of a friend doesn’t require a physical presence in order to be tangible. Love can exist across oceans of time before it touches back down in the real world.

May your home always be too small to hold all your friends. My favorite Irish Blessing. The old proverb paints a picture of my idea of Heaven. A cramped apartment teeming with people, some spilling onto a fire escape in laughter, others teetering on the arms of furniture with plates balanced on their laps. There’s music playing and the sound of glasses tinkling. In my mind’s eye it’s a fantastical place that defies time and space—an unidentified city in an unidentified time period, the burgeoning group of people amassed from past, present and future, all suspended in their best timeline. It’s a snapshot of people in my life, many of whom who have never met and never will, some whom I speak to and others I won’t hear from again. But knowing that these friendships have existed, that this love has been poured into the world before and will continue to flow in the future, is what makes them sacred.

God finds us in the everyday experience, like the moments we share with friends. These interactions may seem small, but they are anything but insignificant. May we all continue to step closer to the divine through the connection we hold with one another.

in love & faith,
anné jude